Did the winner play a blinder? Or did the faithfuls simply perform incredibly – I mean phenomenal poorly? We will argue through digital feeds for ages, regardless the champion of the first – but surely not the last – edition of The Celebrity Traitors is the deceptive Alan Carr.
When first anointed by the presenter, many believed he wouldn’t last even sixty minutes. Nor did he. “I am nauseous. I suffer from a moisture dilemma and find it impossible to maintain a secret.” He also cannot speak softly or remember if he obtained a shield.
Nonetheless, encircled, by several of the least astute players of the game in recent memory, he made it through, developing into the role with alarming simplicity. He wrapped up with a dramatic touch, breaking out in semi-crocodile tears about how difficult it had been for him to bear the deadly weight.
The two surviving trusting contestants, rushed to comfort him (“It’s been tearing me apart!”). At home, many envisioned upturned glances and shouts.
The Last Confrontation
At the start of the last episode, there had been five surviving competitors of the starting group of nineteen. Subsequent to one ultimate group mission, including a locomotive, twenty thousand pounds in locked boxes, access items and hints scattered across the compartments, and two linked sarcophagi (“I stepped up a bit there,” remarks one player of the revealing. “Because I was happy to lose a finger”), they gathered for their last round table.
A pair of players submitted their choices for a different contestant, despite the expert’s remarkable track of thinking his way to every erroneous outcome possible. I stay convinced in my view that this player would have made the world’s greatest deceiver, but as a faithful he was calamitous.
He succeeded to select a fellow participant at the meeting, nevertheless, and she was accurately expelled in the end.
Sorrow and Forgiveness
Now we are four. One struggles to describe to write about what occurred afterward. A particular player … felt a hesitation. A moment when he questioned his closest ally. Among the most profound love stories of modern times, between the hugest man and the smallest figure on television, the rugby player and the problem-solver, faltered under the shock as the hesitant one turned over his last vote to show his dearest companion’s name.
The accused stood firm – he lacks the capacity for it – but if he could, he might have. “Yet I care for you,” the voter said, despairingly.
The ousted contestant went, the surviving pair believed they had secured victory and after some business entailing throwing pouches into a fire, the group agreed to end the game.
As the sole surviving traitor, Alan was announced as the victor and claimed the full prize pot for the youth oncology foundation. Yet, the key aspect is that when the presenter directed the quintet to a meeting on the fortress stairs, forgiveness was swift.
Saying Goodbye to the Contestants
I shall, along with the more than 13 million other audience members, long for each one. (Excluding several players who never got a chance to achieve a lot, and a different who failed to say sorry for bungling a certain mission.)
I will long for the profound rage of a certain contestant, the theatrical sadness of a separate player, the total incapacity of another participant to interpret events without self-reference.
I will yearn for an individual’s suspicion of long words, another duo’s humor, a singer’s undeniable aura, a star as the distillation of everything that endures as virtuous in this fallen world, a veteran host as TV’s enduring personality, a kind-hearted player and the constant uncle-like charm of an adored individual, along with all the endgame contestants.
Most importantly I am going to lament the loss of the poise and refinement of a particular contestant, so remarkably majestic even when shouting into a hole or breaking wind in a cabin. As the figure beneath the presenter’s locks emphasized on numerous instances, you were, mostly, awful at the game. Yet you proved superb, fantastic amusement.
The famous-person version can be found for viewing now.
